ATTN English Majors
James Franco is directing an adaptation of As I Lay Dying. I just watched the trailer. It looks… questionable.
This is not an endorsement. I just thought you all should know.
Yeah, I'm down with Jesus.
| Complete stranger: | Do you go to church? |
| Me: | Uh yeah, yeah I do. |
| Complete stranger: | Oh, well could I interest you in coming to my Bible fellowship on Fridays? |
| Me: | My Fridays are pretty busy, actually. |
| Complete stranger: | Around five o'clock? |
| Me: | Sorry. |
| Complete stranger: | Which church do you go to? |
| Me: | South Berkeley Community Church. |
| Complete stranger: | And how long have you been going there? |
| Me: | About a year. |
| Complete stranger: | Oh. Well, have a nice day. |
“
I don’t mean to denigrate anyone who wants to go to law school. It’s a good idea for you. Seriously. Probably.
“Kiss me, I am an enchanted dishwasher!” — Cartoons for women and emancipated men
So PC
| Dad: | Is that your yellow sweater in the back of the car? |
| Me: | Please, you think I wear yellow? |
| Dad: | I don't know how metrosexual you are. |
“
Property is the objectivized presence of subjectivity.
I just saw a guy riding his bike down Oxford screaming Shins lyrics. Bears.
So this girl brought brownies to class...
| Girl 1: | Oh my god, who brought these brownies? |
| Girl 2: | [raises hand] I did... |
| Girl 1: | These are SO good. They're chewy and gooey and... [makes a sound that I suppose indicates satisfaction] |
| Girl 2: | I'm glad you like them. |
| Girl 1: | It's just so hard to get good homemade brownies, you know? |
| Girl 2: | Yeah, I took them out of the oven when the box told me to. |
Observations on John Neumeier’s Nijinsky
- Shirts are for straight people.
- If you want to get someone’s attention, stop, drop, and roll.
- Enormous rings of light suspended above the stage probably have little symbolic function, if any.
- In a pinch, Shostakovich symphonies work as stand-ins for Stravinsky ballets.
It builds character
There comes a day in every young man’s life when a bird shits on his face.
Today was that day for me.
